Dinner with Kuu
by soprano-in-waiting
Summary: Ren's worst nightmare, or at least one of his not-so-good dreams, has come true. Kuu has come back to Tokyo for a visit. What happens when Kuu decides to share some stories about his son, Kuon, with Kyoko?


**Standard Disclaimer: I do not own Skip Beat! or the characters, I simply enjoy tortu….I mean, lovingly putting them in awkward situations. 3**

**This story is dedicated to everyone who has been in this situation. We know we all have the moments when we want to duct tape or surgically close our parents' mouths…**

_Italics:_ Ren's thoughts.

* * *

It had been a long day. Ren was used to pushing himself to death with work, but summer was well and truly upon them. It was the middle of June, and he was extremely appreciative of the air conditioning that LME was equipped with. One step inside the doors and he was bathed in a cool curtain of breathable and refreshing air. Even in the late afternoon, it was still uncomfortably hot outside; especially in the suit he was currently sporting. _Can't break the Tsuruga Ren image, now can I?_

Ren was already close to his mask slipping every time he was in Kyoko's company, and Yashiro was ever present to remind him. _Tease, torture, revel in the fact that I do have a heart, and a jealous side, and an altogether too frequent urge to visit physical harm on certain people who think that Kyoko's theirs…_

He needed to stop that line of thought, and quickly. Yashiro had had to turn in some paperwork to the acting section, so Ren headed for the one spot in the building that he was safe. He took a quick turn down a now familiar hallway and peeked inside. _Good, no one around. Hopefully I can get a few minutes to just sit and relax…_ Ren plopped his large frame onto the couch that was situated in the Love Me section. It was the perfect hiding spot away from others in the agency. Even in a place that was replete with stars, he couldn't sit unnoticed in the main lounge, waiting for Yashiro. But this little hideaway had an added advantage: Kyoko. The petite actress often popped in and out as her schedule and duties allowed. The thought brought a curve to the edge of Ren's lips as he indulged in remembering one of her cute and adorable moments. _She really is too cute for her own good._

The daydreaming must have slipped into a light slumber in the comfort of a secluded, quiet, and cool room, because next thing Ren heard was a very familiar feminine giggle and an extremely familiar male chuckle…._I must be dreaming…There's no way he'd be here….He's supposed to be on a shoot somewhere, last I heard._ Ren opened his eyes to see a tall, blonde man, and a short, orange haired teenager. _Yep, definitely dreaming._ He rubbed his eyes as he sat up on the couch. When he opened his eyes again, they were still there. _Crap._

"Hizuri-san, What a surprise. When did you come back to Tokyo?" Ren asked, as politely as ever, forcing his most gentlemanly smile in place. _He had better have a good reason for this._

"Good evening, Tsuruga-san. I'm sorry that we woke you from your nap. I simply came over to visit my son, here." Kuu placed one of his large, long fingered hands protectively on Kyoko's shoulder. "I just finished filming over in Hong Kong, so I thought I'd pop in and check on Kuon." Kuu beamed, a mischievous smile in place, unaware of the death glare simmering behind the angelic face. He continued, "Sunday is also Father's Day weekend in America. Since is the first time in a while that I'll have a child to celebrate it with, I thought I'd take a few days off and see her. We were just about to leave when we saw you asleep on the couch, there."

Kyoko stifled another giggle, "You really did look a bit silly." Another unguarded smile crossed her lips and it pulled at Ren's heart, momentarily blocking out the annoyance that was building in waves against Kuu.

"I have an idea! I was going to cook dinner for Oto-san tonight, would you care to join us? It's the second Wednesday of the month, and the Daruma-ya is closed, so I can use their kitchen. You're obviously too tired to fix yourself something nutritious." Kyoko pointed out, matter-of-factly.

_One of these days, I would love to have her cooking for me for any reason besides that._ Ren internally sighed, but started nodding his head in assent. "I would love to. I'm happy to sample your delicious cooking anytime." Ren answered graciously, watching with a proud eye as he caused Kyoko's cheeks to turn shades of red. _And besides, this way I can keep an eye on my father, and see to it that he doesn't do anything too stupid…_

A short while later, after dropping a clueless Yashiro off, and a quick stop at a florist shop, Ren parked the car in front of the Daruma-ya. He slipped on his cap and glasses, grabbed the single white carnation, and headed inside the darkened serving area. He saw a light coming from the back and headed towards it. Kyoko was busily stirring a couple of pots with an expert eye. The amount of food that was out was enough to feed a small army…or one semi-hungry Hizuri Kuu.

Ren watched in fascination from the kitchen doorway as Kyoko worked through a small mountain of vegetables with lightning speed and accuracy. Her confidence in the kitchen was clear to both men watching. _She's in one of her many elements. Now if only she would have as much confidence in herself._ Once the knife was safely out of her hand, Ren decided that it would be prudent to announce himself, before his oyabaka father could accuse him of lurking.

"Good evening, Mogami-san, Hizuri-san." He pleasantly called. He glided over to the miniature chef and presented her with the flower. "For you, Mogami-san. A flower for the hostess." Ren was pretty sure that his "Tsuruga" mask was close to slipping, but he must have been able to keep it in place. Kyoko didn't run away screaming, or freeze, but a repeat performance of the blush did make its way across her face.

"Th- Thank you, Tsuruga-san. You shouldn't have gone to the trouble, especially for someone like me." She stuttered as she bowed in reply.

Another mental sigh intruded on Ren's thoughts. _Another thing I wish I could change, but one step at a time. Right now, I'll take not freezing as a good sign._

"Dinner will be ready in a few moments. Just let me grab these plates and I'll go get the table ready." Kyoko was about to reach for the stack of plates when her hands grasped thin air. She was puzzled to say the least. She knew she had left them right there…

"You're already cooking for us. The least we can do is set the table." Kuu reasoned smoothly. And with that, he turned around and vanished down a hallway with the plates into a private dining room that Kyoko had told him about earlier. Ren followed after, the utensils in hand. "Like the man said, least we can do." He flashed another smile at the confused young lady and followed the same path as his other dinner partner. _And this way, I might be able to talk to him privately for a few moments, without Kyoko hearing. _

The short hallway opened up into an average sized, but homey, dining room. It could have been anyone's dining room at home, except for the huge exit sign that was over the door in the corner. Ren headed towards the table and started placing the utensils at the plates. He was trying to figure out a way to politely warn his overly loving father away from doing anything regrettable when Kyoko came in carrying a huge tray full of steaming platters, preventing him from actually putting it into action. Kuu hurried over to help her as she started placing the dishes on the table. Once every thing was ready, the trio sat down to a delicious home cooked meal.

"I hope you like it, Oto-san! Enjoy!" Kyoko said, eager to please the man who had unofficially adopted her.

"I'm sure I will. Besides, you're a much better cook than Kuon. I remember one time, it was Julie's birthday. He must have been ten or eleven. Kuon got the idea that he wanted to make his mother a birthday cake." Kuu started to chuckle at the memory.

_Oh no…please not that…_If Ren had been closer to Kuu, instead of on the opposite side of the table, Kuu probably would have been receiving covert punches in the leg. Kuu must have sensed this, because he looked straight into Ren's eyes, with a disturbingly mischievous grin for a man that old, before turning to Kyoko to finish the story.

"I had been home for the day and was going to the kitchen to get my post-lunch, pre-afternoon snack, and I smelled something funny. I opened the door to see that the kitchen had turned into the North Pole. The counters were covered in flour and sugar, and Lord knows what else. There were a couple bowls full of goop that looked like they had come from the set of a sci-fi movie. The best part was Kuon. There he was standing all covered in flour and batter, smiling at the 'cake' he had pulled out of the oven. I realized then that he took after his mother in the kitchen. I can still see Julie's face as she tried to eat that cake." Kuu had told the story with such flair that Kyoko was heartily laughing along with him by the end. Ren forced a few chuckles as the wheels turned in his head.

_He's not making this easy. I feel like my face should be on fire. He's going to be in sooo much trouble after this…._

"I wish I could meet him someday." Kyoko murmered, "and give him some cooking lessons." She giggled.

"I'm sure he would be happy to have you as a teacher, Mogami-san." Ren said, with a nod of his head. _I would gladly learn anything you wanted to teach me, although I'm pretty sure I'm hopeless when it comes to food, eating and cooking…_

"I'm sure you'll meet him someday, but right now, I simply hope he's happy." Kuu's voice was filled with the sincere thought. Ren squirmed a little, glad that Kyoko seemed to be digging into some more food, at least until she started laughing again at the imagine Kuu had conjured in her mind's eye. _I wish I was telepathic. This would make trying to read her mind so much easier, and less nerve-wracking. _

A few more minutes passed and Kuu started launching into another story about his beloved son, much to Ren's dismay. "Kuon was acting in a movie along with me. He was only about five or six. He was supposed to play the younger version of my role. Well, the role called for him and a little girl, who was playing the younger self of my costar, to be playing together. The little girl was to come up to him and kiss him on the mouth, and the run away. It was taking a bit for the director to explain what he wanted, but I was watching his face, and saw the moment when it dawned on him what the director wanted him to do. The look of horror that crossed his face." Kuu broke off in laughter. " 'She's going to give me cooties!' he yelled. Of course, everyone on set heard him and just started laughing. It took them a few tries to get the shot, because he kept getting a grimace on his face, sometimes before and sometimes after she kissed him." He chuckled some more. "It probably would have been wiser to not tell him what was going on." Kuu was visibly having fun torturing his son. Kyoko, of course, was oblivious to the private hell the her Oto-san was creating for the dark haired actor.

Ren thought it was high time to end this dinner that was quickly becoming a reenactment of the Spanish Inquisition for him. Seeing that a good number of dishes were empty, he started stacking them, and got up to take them to the kitchen. Kyoko started to get up, not wanting her sempai to go to the trouble of cleaning up after her.

"Mogami-san, at least let me do this small thing of taking some plates away. You've done everything else tonight. And Hizuri-san is only here for a little while. You should enjoy his company while you can." A few of Kyoko's demons had mini-heart attacks as he flashed another smile which caused her to sink back into her chair.

"A-All right, but just put them on the counter. I can put them in the dishwasher later." She called after him.

Ren retreated from the full frontal assault that his father's storytelling was throwing him. _I can't take this much longer. I didn't think I'd have to endure a night like this until I brought her home to Oka-san. Then again, Oto-san is doing one heck of a job right now. He knows I can't contradict him or defend myself when Kyoko doesn't know the truth…_

Ren took a few more moments to collect himself before he headed back to the dining room. Ren froze in the doorway as he heard Kuu's voice ringing out again, heedless of the distress he was putting his son through.

"There he was a little toddler. He ran up to me, and told me "I don't need a diaper. I can use the big boy potty.' He rips his diaper off, hands it to me, and runs down the hallway, naked as the day he was born, before either Julie or I could catch him." Kuu's eyes had tears at the corner of his face. Kyoko was laughing so hard that she was having trouble breathing. And Ren? Well…needless to say, Ren retreated to the kitchen, and slid to the floor in embarrassment, his face contorted in disbelief. _Why, in the name of all that's holy, did he have to tell that story...and to her? _Ren gave a slight groan as he realized that Kuu was out of control. It didn't matter if he was there or not.

"It's been a while since Tsuruga-san left. I'm going to go check on him." Kyoko's concerned voice came through the walls. Ren heard footsteps and looked up to see Kyoko's face hurriedly change from shock to worry at the site of him sitting on the floor.

"Tsuruga-san! Are you okay?" Kyoko was starting to get visibly distressed.

"I guess I was more tired than I thought." Ren lied smoothly, as he hoisted himself back into a standing position. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to head home. Thank you for the enjoyable meal. Is Hizuri-san still in the dining room?" Ren asked, questioning a Kyoko clueless to his real intentions.

"Yes, he is. I was just going to get him some dessert. Are you sure you can't stay?" Kyoko's puppy dog eyes nearly undid him.

"I'm sorry. Another time perhaps?" Ren excused himself before she could catch up with him. His longs legs took him to the dining room faster than a Kyoko laden with a tray of cake could cover. He quickly ducked to his father's ear and whispered. "I'll get you for this. Oh, and Happy Father's Day." Returning to his gentleman mask before Kyoko got through the door, Ren gave Kuu a slight nod of his head, exited the room.

_If this is what awaits me when I finally go home with Kyoko as mine, I might never go back…_

* * *

**A/N:** So I've realized during the course of the last month or two that my mind enjoys envisioning situations that put Ren through the wringer. This (rather long) one shot was an idea that popped into my head about three nights ago and wouldn't leave me alone. Once again, my oh-so-biased and lovely friend Mokimo encouraged me to write it out. XOXO's to her. All in all, it was probably better that I got it out tonight, rather than during my Human Nutrition class tomorrow. That class has been taken over by another idea that's floating around in my head. Sadly, I was still able to fully absorb what was going on, even while writing out a page and a half of outline .

Anyways, thank you so much for reading. I sincerely apologize if there is any incredible OOC-ness. Please leave a review and tell me what I can improve on! :)


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